O'Donnell Wins Republican Nomination for Senate in Delaware

The mystery behind how Christine O'Donnell won the Republican nomination for Senate from Delaware appears to have been solved.

Where the fuck is my Metamucil?

Treasury Secretary Geithner soon discovered that Chinese food was low in fiber.

Larry Ellison's Mini Me

Say hello to my little friend.

Bambi Meets Godzilla

And Fuck Rick Scott Too While We're At It

I can't help but notice that Google Adsense is pasting Rick Scott ads all over my blog. Let me make this perfectly clear. Ducks Flying Backward does not endorse or even like Rick Scott. In fact, DFB does not endorse even the idea that Rick Scott deserves to continue consuming oxygen. To be even clearer, DFB does not endorse the idea of democracy as the average citizen of this great country has the IQ of a turnip and obviously can't be trusted to make competent decisions about governance. The proprietor of DFB believes the best system of governance involves him and his friends ruling over all you other bitches. So fuck Rick Scott, Alex Sink, Bill McCollum, Marco Rubio, Rick Greene, Kendrick Meek, Barack Obama, John Boehner, John McCain, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and all other politicians. Deal with that Adsense!

Fuck You and Fuck Her Too

A break from our regular format for this fine video:

Tiger Talks to God

Are you kidding me? Last place? What do you want from me?

Charlie Rangel's Brother Found at Disneyworld

Separated at birth? You be the judge!

What do you Expect? I'm French...

Well, of course I'm crazy! I'm French!

Crist Checks Out Florida's Assets

There's an oil spill? Really? I hadn't noticed....

Principles?

Principles? Whoo!! Where do you get this stuff? Ha, I think I left them in my jacket....

Will It Get Us Laid?

Dan had given up but his buddies calculations proved that a nerd could still get laid. If only they could find a woman who understood differential equations.

Bunny Hoppin'

Vice President Biden shows how he did the bunny hop at the White House Easter Egg roll.

Stop!

Stop! In the name of love....

Oops!

Yes, I made $100 million running Citigroup into the ground. Oops.

That One!

That one! The blond in the red shorts. Did you do her too?

Ow! Ow! That Hurts!

Must stop thinking! It hurts! It hurts! Disengage!

Brain??? I Don't Need No Stinkin' Brain!!!!

Why Do You Think My Wife is Always Smiling?

"Heh, heh."

A Duck in a Tree

Joe Biden: "A duck in a tree? I don't see any duck in a tree. Damn this is hard."

Barack Obama: "I am so fucking smart it makes my head hurt. I actually have to hold my fingers here or my brains will literally leak out onto the table. Why can't these goddamn Republicans just shut the fuck up and vote for my shit?"

I Pledge Allegiance

"I pledge allegiance to Elin.....and Rachel....and Holly....and Cori...and Jamie...and Jaimee...and Kalika....and umm, oh yeah and Loquisha and of course Nike. Accenture can kiss my ass."

Tiger: Yeah, Dawg!

Tiger Woods at his press conference this morning: "Oh, yeah. I did it. And I'd do it again. And you would too dawg."

UN Climate Chief Resigns

"The glaciers aren't melting? Fuck me..."

Dip Me you big Lug!

"Well, hello sweetie. Are you new here?"

Obama Channels Yoda

"Size matters not, young Jedi."

Who's Your Daddy?

"Yeah, baby, of course we'll get married. Just as soon as my divorce is final..."

Bernanke Flips Off Congress

Ben Bernanke shows Ron Paul what he thinks of his plan to audit the Fed.

You Da Man!

"You da man!" "No, you da man!" "No, you da man!"

Loser!

I'm a loser, baby.

You're Going to Put That Where?

"Yeah, I'll work with Obama. I'll work my hand so far up his ass, he'll beg to sign a tax cut."

One More Time Smartass

"One more time Dave. You fart one more time and I am outta here."

Call Me Baby..

President Obama signals the cute aide in the back row to call him later.

Bummin'

Man, I cannot believe the Colts lost. What a friggin' bummer.

Boy Talk

I'm telling you dude, check out that Pelosi chick! She is fucking stacked, man!

Ahmadinejad Attends Tehran Premier of 3D Avatar

"Go ahead and laugh motherfucker. I'll nuke your ass."

Denver Grabs Kobe's Nuggets

Denver guard Arron Afflalo tries a new defensive technique on Kobe Bryant called the Nugget defense.

Palin Pimps For Wasilla Optical

Oh, these? You like'em? I got these down to the Wasilla Optical. Just tell'em Sarah sent ya and you'll get 25% off!

Ultra Precise Quantum Logic Clock Puts Old Atomic Clock to Shame

The quantum-logic clock, which detects the energy state of a single aluminum ion, keeps time to within a second every 3.7 billion years. The new timekeeper could one day improve GPS or detect the slowing of time predicted by Einstein’s theory of general relativity.

Chen-wen Chou says the clock allows him to know within 1 nanosecond how long it's been since he got laid.

Lloyd Blankfein Explains How it Is to Congress

"Senator, if you pass the Volcker rule, I will personally come to your office and remove your balls with my bare hands."

Or

 "Actually sir, we just milk the American economy like a cow. We don't add any value whatsoever."

Geithner: We're Down to Our Last Dollar!

"That's it Senator. We're down to our last dollar. If you spend that one, we've made plans to set up a lemonade stand."